Another Change

          Yet again (third time now, I think), it's been WAY too long since the last post.  This blogging thing is incredibly difficult at the beginning of the semester!  Then throw in being super sick for a week and averting a mini life crisis or two, and here we are, two weeks later.
          So, the "life crisis or two"--last week, my therapist dropped a bomb on me when he told me that I'm going to need to start transitioning to another therapist.  Essentially, given the abusive relationships I've had in the past, most notably with my mother, it's best if I see somebody who can better support me.  Since he works at a university, he's not available in crisis situations--just Monday through Friday, 8:00-5:00.  When people start to work through such heavy issues (as undoubtedly I'm going to be), it can be typical that they'll need some extra support during non-traditional hours.  As he said, he wouldn't be a good therapist if he didn't start to transition me to someone out in the community.  Now I completely understand where he's coming from, but I just don't want to switch therapists.  I've never ever had such a good connection or relationship with a therapist as I have with him.  The thought of leaving and having to see somebody else is absolutely terrifying and sad.  Already feeling lost on the nutritional end of things, hearing that I now may be without one of my biggest supports puts me on the verge of panic.
          I'm not sure exactly when this transition will take place, but I'm hopeful that it can wait until the end of the semester or at least until a new dietitian is hired who actually specializes in eating disorders.  While I've come to greatly appreciate the conversations that Karla and I have had over the past few weeks, I still feel that I can't talk to her about the food aspect of things, which is problematic.  I feel like my therapist is the strongest part of my team (Dr. H is still great as always, but I don't see her nearly as often or talk about things in great detail as she's just a doctor) and losing him makes me wonder if I'll be able to not collapse completely.
          Mini life crisis #2 was getting a phone call from the nursing home where my Gradma Jo is staying that they think she only has ~6 months to live.  She's 103 and I was super close with her.  For the past 8 years or so, it was her apartment I always went to when I wanted or needed to escape the craziness in my own house.  Hearing that it may be her time to go soon was incredibly tough and saddening.  So far, she seems to be stable, but having the thought constantly in the back of my head that she could go at any time just adds to my general anxiety.
          Other than those two minor (okay, major) things, outside of the eating disorder things are okay.  School is going well and work is going well, so that's always appreciated.  I did find out yesterday that I'm going to be needing surgery on my foot in two weeks, so I'm not quite sure how that's going to play into my general mindset, given that I have control issues and now I'm going to have to let somebody else take care of me for awhile, among other things.
          Okay, time to go back to work and start answering the student emails that have been piling up in my inbox--TAing is very intensive!